On Strength: “Becoming” the Hafu Witch

Strength from the Lioness Oracle

hāfu (ハーフ, "half"): Hāfu/haafu is the commonly used Japanese word to refer to somebody who is biracial. The label emerged in the 1970s and comes from the English word ‘half’, referring to the half foreign and half Japanese-ness. Hāfu is the widely accepted self-definition for half Japanese people and is frequently used in introductions.

I am a daughter of a dedicated, brilliant, and beautiful Okinawan-Japanese woman and a creative, cerebral, and adventurous Israeli father. I grew up feeling pulled between multiple worlds - between the world of two immigrants with vastly different cultures, and between both of these and American culture. These influences have informed who I am at a core level.

I spent a lot of my youth feeling misunderstood and disconnected. I struggled to cope with my parents divorce, struggled with my relationship with my mom, and eventually moved in with my dad, who was at work a lot. I found moments of peace in my backyard and would sit with our willow tree. Mostly, though, high school and college were one long roller coaster. I lacked healthy coping skills, couldn’t stay grounded, and felt detached from myself.

College brought me moments of clarity. As I was finishing my degree, I realized I needed to make some changes. I started eating cleaner, bought a bicycle, and ended relationships that were more distressing than nourishing. I got back into therapy, began dating someone who reminded me of my early love for magic, and moved into a new apartment. When I moved in, I saw that someone left behind a goddess oracle deck, a piece of clear quartz, and a chunk of amethyst. A new chapter began. I started learning about astrology and, after my first tarot reading, realized that I wanted a deck of my own. A year or so later, I bought my first deck, and shortly after that, a friend gifted me the Hermetic Tarot. This was the start of my tarot journey.

In 2014, I moved to Colorado and began experiencing some big shifts. I started to heal. The mountains and sunshine energized me and offered me perspective. I found a sense of community through music and anti-racist activism. There, I found The Lioness Oracle Tarot at a shop called Ritualcravt. From this point onward, I began devoting myself to working with tarot; studying myself through the Lioness Oracle, studying the Smith-Waite tarot, and researching the many layers of this old game and practice. I began reading frequently for friends and slowly began to realize I was being called to keep doing this. I wasn’t prepared to self identify as a witch. How could I if I wasn’t “practicing magic”? I felt like one, but to claim this space was terrifying.

A few years later, I went home to see my hermana from another mama marry the woman of her dreams. Our mom’s worked together to care for us throughout our youth - our tiger mama and lion mama. At the wedding, I caught up with lion mama for the first time in years. She reminded me about the magic in my family and offered blessings and affirmations. To me, she said, “Nicole, you are a bruja. A bruja.” And all I could do is cry in gratitude for this affirmation. Her offering gave me strength to go forward as The Hafu Witch.

So, here we are. I offer myself to you as a reader, space holder, and coach. I am trauma informed, queer friendly, sex-positive, and kink friendly. I come to you as someone who has indigenous Uchinanchu blood in her veins, who comes from a world that honors feminine power, herstories of subverting the patriarchy, and histories of fighting oppression; but also as someone who carries the shadows of those who have perpetuated and even continue to perpetuate oppression and systemic violence. I come to you as someone who deeply values our connection to Mama Earth, our interconnectedness as beings on this planet, and in honor of movements for collective liberation and healing for all.

Like all of us, I am a work in progress. I am full of contradictions. Through this little corner of the internet, I will offer you my services, free extended readings on (usually) single tarot cards, and writings on what I’ve learned at the intersections of my personal and professional experiences. I commit to tending the garden, being of service to marginalized communities, and to being accountable for my words and actions.

Thank you for joining me and this part of my story. Feel free to reach out if this resonates, I’d love to hear from you.

With gratitude,

Nicole
The Hafu Witch